he says a few more years, i say now-ish. how do you even meet in the middle on this one

This gap sits heavier because it's not really about a date, it's about who yields and what that means for how decisions get made in this marriage long-term. Worth naming that out loud, separate from the baby question. Try pulling it out of "someday" language entirely. Sit down and each name the actual conditions, not vague ones. He says work and house stuff, fine, what specifically, and by when realistically. You say ready, fine, what would make waiting six more months tolerable versus unbearable. Put real markers on the table, not feelings about markers. Also worth asking privately: is his timeline about circumstances, or about not feeling ready in himself and hiding behind the practical reasons? Those need different conversations. And check your own gut too, sometimes "now-ish" has more to do with age, friends, family pressure than with your marriage's actual readiness. Get honest on both sides before you negotiate a number.

ugh yes, this one. the thing that helped us stop circling was picking an actual date to revisit it, not a vague someday. like "let's really talk numbers and timeline in march" instead of "soon" which means nothing and just festers. also try separating the feeling from the plan for a sec, tell him it's sitting heavier than you expected, not as a push, just as information, because that's different from pressure and he'll hear it differently. then get nosy about his "further along" - what does that actually mean, a number in savings, a promotion, the house closing? sometimes his reasonable-sounding wait is more specific than he's said out loud, and once it's specific you can actually negotiate with it instead of arguing with a feeling. you're not wrong for wanting now-ish, he's not wrong for wanting ready. it's just math and nerves, and both are workable if you're solving it together instead of past each other.