What actually matters in the long run for being a good husband?

Asked by grumpy_brain_06

married about 6 years now, no major problems, but lately i've been thinking past the day to day stuff (chores, date nights, remembering anniversaries, all that) and wondering what actually holds a marriage together over like 20-30 years. i see older couples who seem genuinely happy and i wonder what they did differently early on that i can't really see from the outside. is it patience, communication, just picking your battles, or something less obvious? not looking for a checklist of nice gestures, more curious what the guys here who've been married a long time feel like actually mattered when they look back.