why does my husband keep bringing up his ex when we fight

that would sting for me too. honestly it's probably less about her and more about him reaching for a comparison when he feels cornered in a fight, some old script that's easy to grab in the heat of it. doesn't mean he's stuck on her, six years and a marriage says otherwise. but it doesn't mean it's harmless either, because you're the one carrying the sting alone right now. i'd say something, just not mid-argument. a quiet moment, maybe just "hey, when you bring up your ex during fights it really gets to me, can we not do that" — short, no need to build a whole case. see how he responds to that alone, calmly. his reaction will tell you more than the habit itself does. some people don't even notice they're doing it until it's named.

aw i'm sorry, that would sting for me too. honestly it usually isn't about him still being hung up on her, it's more that in the heat of an argument our brains grab whatever comparison is closest, and an ex is just an easy reference point. doesn't make it okay though, and it makes sense it's eating at you. here's the doable thing: bring it up when you're both calm, not mid-fight. something like "hey, when you mention your ex during arguments it really hurts, can we leave her out of it going forward?" keep it simple, not accusatory. most guys don't even realize how much that lands until it's named out loud. six years in and two married, you two clearly have something solid, this sounds fixable with one honest conversation.

ok so first, it makes total sense that this stings, that's not you being dramatic at all. honestly this is usually less about him being hung up on her and more about him grabbing whatever's closest when he's mid-argument and trying to make a point land. exes are just an easy reference point, doesn't always mean longing, sometimes it's just a lazy comparison his brain reaches for. BUT that doesn't mean it's fine to just let it keep happening, cuz if you swallow it three times it turns into resentment real quick and then it leaks out sideways later. i'd bring it up when you're both calm, not mid fight, something like "hey when you compare me to her it really gets under my skin, can we not do that" and see how he reacts. his reaction will tell you a lot honestly, more than the comparisons themselves