why does my husband get annoyed when i ask him to help with the baby

honestly, this is a really common new-parent snag, and no, you're not asking too much. tired is a real need, not a favor you're requesting. that sigh thing is worth naming directly, not as "you're lazy" but as "when i ask and get a sigh back, i stop asking, and then i'm just drowning quietly." that's the actual damage happening here, more than any one bottle. some guys genuinely don't register that "help when i feel like it" isn't help, it's still you managing the whole load plus his mood about it. try picking a calm, non-baby moment to say something like "i need us to be a team on this, not me asking for favors." ask what's actually behind the annoyance too, sometimes it's feeling incompetent, not unwilling. this is fixable. it just needs a real conversation, not another fight in the trenches at 2am.

not normal, and not just laziness either, it's more that he's still treating it as your job with him helping vs it being both your job. try telling him straight, not in the moment when you're exhausted, but calmly later: "i need you to take him when i ask, not when it's convenient for you, i'm not asking for a favor." if he keeps sighing, that's on him to work through, not you to shrink around. and stop doing it all yourself, that just proves to him he can wait you out.

that sigh probably hurts more than the actual help would've fixed. i hear that. some men feel like helping "when they feel like it" counts as pulling their weight, but a newborn doesn't run on anyone's mood, it runs on need. that gap between how he sees it and how you're living it is probably the real fight, not the bottle itself. maybe try talking when the baby's asleep and nobody's mid-request. not "you never help" but something like, i can't carry this alone, i need you on call, not just willing sometimes. ask what's making him short with you too, tiredness looks like annoyance a lot. not lazy, necessarily. just maybe not seeing it yet. if it keeps going nowhere though, a counselor could help you both hear each other better than you're managing alone right now.