How do you stop resenting your husband once you have kids?

that annoyance is usually exhaustion wearing a disguise. resentment with new kids almost never means the love left, it means the labor got lopsided and nobody said so out loud. small thing that helps: name one specific task, not "you don't help enough" but "can you do bedtime bath on tuesdays, every tuesday." specific requests are easier to actually meet than general ones, and met requests slowly rebuild trust. also try to find him doing something right, on purpose, daily, even something tiny. resentment narrows your vision until he's just a list of failures. you have to consciously widen it back out. liking him again probably won't arrive in one talk. it comes back in small unremarkable moments once the load evens out a little. if it stays heavy for a long stretch though, a counselor can help you both see what's actually underneath it.

Okay, the annoyance is almost never really about him breathing too loud. It's usually about the invisible list you're carrying that he doesn't even know exists. Resentment grows in silence, so the first move is unglamorous: say the thing out loud. Not "you never help," but specifics — "I need you to own bedtime, not assist me with bedtime." Ownership, not assistance, is the whole game. Then watch what happens for a couple weeks. If he steps up, some of that annoyance will thaw on its own, because it was never really about liking him less, it was about being tired of managing him too. If he doesn't step up after being told clearly, that's useful information, and worth a conversation with a counselor about what's actually going on underneath. Liking him again isn't a mood you manufacture, it's what's left over once the score feels fair. Fix the fairness first.